inspired by that Meridian, Miss.group
(you know who you are)
And spires that reach clear up to the sky,
Do you wonder to yourself if the roofs ever leak?
Ask me this question and with my tongue in my cheek
I'll say, "Not even in the rainiest season
Are those roofs ever drippy for the following reason."
When castles were built and their roofs laid atop
The kings did not want one single drop
Of rain to fall on their royalest of crowns
So they called on a roofer from way up in the downs.
The villagers knew him only as Doc,
And whenever his name was heard on their block,
They'd rush out to meet him, for they were sure before long
The streets would be ringing with the sound of his song:
Worry not, O honored king,
When I start a-shingle-ing
My handiwork will soon be proof
That I alone can build your roof.
So every time a new castle arose
Or an old fortress had some holes to close,
Who would they contact but Doc and his shingles,
For his hand and his hammer, for his song and his jingles.
This was the case for many a medieval year,
But soon a rumor tickled the coutryside's ear.
Somewhere in a land of which no one still speaks
Are towers so high, birds won't land on the peaks.
The sheer building process had taken it's share
Of workers' lives, Doc was aware.
The Meridian Mankiller was the name it was given
And to this task was the "roof doctor" driven.
The lord of the castle was one Jason the Brave,
A witty and wily and honest young knave.
His court was composed of the fairest of fair,
Describing them would be too much to bear.
To name just a few there was Katie of Troise,
Whose face launched the ships of dozens of boys.
Then there was Beth, bourgeois she was not
Whenever you met her, you never forgot.
Kat the Destroyer could rip off your head,
If you were not too careful and watched what you said.
Mary Kendall was one who was really profound,
Her name was a double as opposed to compound.
Of course Lady Sherry took care of them all,
Staying one step ahead, lest apart they should fall.
The house of Lord Jason had heard of the Doc
And they loved him before he even could knock.
Upon his arrival he was lauded with praise
With enough candy and presents for all of his days.
The most prized of possessions was a toolbelt inlaid
And embroidered with a lock from each and every maid.
(All except Princess Emily the Proud,
Who loved him as well but wouldn't say it out loud.)
There was no doubt in a mind that Doc would conquer the height.
The next day he awoke and started to sing,
Not knowing exactly what the new day would bring.
Worry not, Jason the Brave,
From leaky roofs I'm known to save.
These are just like any other.
I'll shingle one after another.
The story goes on but to make it much shorter,
We'll say that Doc didn't quite deliver the order.
He dropped all his shingles; he spilled all his nails;
He lost all his nerve and went head over tails.
That day the Mankiller very nearly got Doc.
Needless to say, some folks were in shock.
He didn't quite plummet, he didn't quite perish,
For a roof jack was something he always did cherish.
His well being was spared but so was his pay.
Jason the Brave sent Doc on his way.
They hired another to finish the topping,
But a rainstorm arrived and left the place sopping.
From that day forward the Doc was afraid.
He forsook all his roofing and the tools of the trade.
He drew some cartoons and told funny jokes
And always remembered those Meridian folks.
The End
